The Freudian Implications
by Aristotle Freud
Summary: Angel characters visit a much-needed psychiatrist. FOR MORE fun go to www.angelfire.com/weird2/thwackage
1. Connor 1

DISCLAIMER:  I own no one but Carlos.

SUMMARY: Angel characters visit the psychologist's office.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  If these people don't need a shrink, I don't know who does.  There's soooo much material here, but I won't continue without reviews, so press that little button on the bottom of the page and give me some feedback.

CHAPTER 1: Oedipus Complex

File Name: Angel, Connor

Diagnosis: Oedipus Complex

Treatment Recommendations: Electroshock therapy.

Supplementary Materials: Video and audio tapes of conversations with the patient

Audio Tape 1: Diagnostic Test: Word Association

_Now Connor, I'm going to say a few words, and I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind_

**Fine.******

_Woman.___

**Mother.******

_Man._

**Bastard.******

_Flower.___

**Devirginization****.******

_That's not a word. (long pause)  All right, all right, it's a word.   Let the record show the subject is now threatening me with a broad sword.  Decision._

**Betrayal.******

_Sex.___

**Mother, I mean, Cordelia.******

_Interesting.__  Water._

**Wet.**

_Mommy.___

**Yummy.******

_Daddy.___

**I don't swing that way.**

_Sword.___

**Sharp.**

_No, I mean will you please put that sword down.  There's no need to be aggressive here, Connor.  Hit._

**Me**** baby one more time.**

_Okay, now I'm disturbed.  Arrrg.  Put the sword down, son.  Pregnant._

**Incest.******

_Incest.___

**Fluffy.******

_All right, Connor.  I think that's enough for today.  We'll do some more tests and start treatment in our next few sessions._

End Tape 1.

Diagnostic Observations: The subject seems to be obsessively connecting the idea of sex with repressed desires for a maternal relationship.  At this point I believe Electroshock Conditioning might best serve to bring to surface the underlying issues.

TBC (possibly… only if I get enough REVIEWS).. Up next, Connor's "therapy," and Angel, Cordy, Fred, Lorne, Lilah, and Company all visit the shrink.

****


	2. Angel 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, I just help them work out their issues.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Keep reviewing if you want to see more.

Case File # 2

Name: Angel

Description: Alpha male in good physical health

Preliminary Diagnosis: Multiple personality disorder

Therapy recommendations: Electro Convulsion Therapy (ECT) as a preliminary anti-psychotic along with a benzodiazepine to combat depression and a dopamine antagonist to control visual and auditory hallucinations.

Supplementary materials: Video and Audio tape, written self-evaluation, basic intelligence and emotional quotient tests.

Video tape # 1: Diagnostic Interview

            _Angel sits in a room, looking a little nervous, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.  The doctor walks in and smiles at Angel.  Angel stares at him and finally smiles.  The doctor is so well trained that he manages to hide his grimace at how goofy Angel looks when he smiles.  Angel resumes brooding_

_            "So, Mr. Angel," the doctor says, "do you have a first name?"_

_            "Angel," Angel replies._

_            "A Last name?" he asks._

_            "Um… Angel," Angel says finally.  The doctor stares at him for a minute and then scribbles furiously._

_            The doctor leans in closer to Angel.  "What's your earliest memory, Mr. Angel?"_

_            A light Irish brogue comes into Angel's voice.  "I'm finding fire wood for the fire," he says, the lilt clear in his voice, "and I stumble across a little lass of a kitten, soaked to the bone."_

_            "And what is your name?" the doctor asks softly._

_            "Liam," Angel replies, "my name is Liam."_

_            Angel, realizing what he's just said, begins to cover.  "I mean, my name is Angel. Liam is, ummmm, Irish for Angel."  The doctor simply raises his eyebrows a bit._

_            "Tell me about a time when you did something wrong," the doctor instructs.  Suddenly the session is interrupted and a devious looking man comes in the door._

_            "Hi Joss," Angel says,.  "Can I help you?"_

_            "Joss" walks over to Angel and smacks him upside the head, muttering something about plot bunnies, and then exits.  A changed look comes over Angel's face._

_            "The worst thing I've done," Angel says, grinning evilly.  He laughs.  "Well, that depends on what I do in the next five minutes."  Angel spots the broad swords the doctor has confiscated from Connor, and he stands and walks over to it.  He picks it up and looks back at the doctor.  He begins whistling an eerie song._

_            The doctor blinks for a moment.  "Is that Britney Spears?" he asks.  Angelous continues whistling "Sometimes" by Britney Spears, playing with the broad sword.  The doctor, thankful for the taser he holds in his right hand, looks at Angel._

_            "And who are you now?" he asks. _

_            "Angelous," Angel replies._

_            "Let's do a little word association," the doctor says, a bit frantic._

_            "Okay," Angelous replies, "knife."_

_            "Sharp," the doctor replies, not realizing that Angelous has turned the tables on him.  Angelous is about to kill the doctor when Joss enters the room again, completely naked, his body painted with pink nail polish.  He waves his hands in front of Angel. _

_            Angel, a tormented expression on his face, puts down the sword.  "I'm so sorry," he says.  "Joss made me do it."_

End tape.

Observations: the subject appears to have visual hallucinations involving a demented man named Joss, and these visitations seem to correspond to the rapid personality changes.  I have identified at least four distinct personalities: A young Irish man named Liam, the conscious personality, Angel, the violent subconscious, Angelous, and a five year old girl named Pansy. Subject scheduled for group therapy next week.

TBC.. who's next?  Cordy, Lindsey, Kate, Lorne, Connor or Angel again?  Please review.

 


	3. Lorne and Cordelia

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, I just parody them using my rudimentary knowledge of psychology.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Oh, where do I begin?  There is sooooo much to go on here.  Anyway, I foresee many chapters if you all are game (and let me know by reviewing), including but not limited to Connor having amnesia, Fred as a nymphomaniac, Jasmine as manic, Buffy as a necrophiliac, Kate as sexually repressed, Lindsey as having an obsession with a certain fanfic author *just for grins*, Dawn as being clinically depressed, and Cordelia as having a conversion disorder.  Plus treatments for Angel and Connor, as well as some family therapy.

And since I couldn't decide who to devote this chapter too, we get group therapy for Lorne and Cordelia.

VIDEO TAPE OF SESSION.

            _The doctor, Lorne, and Cordelia sit in a room, or more accurately, Lorne and the Doctor sit in the room, and Cordelia lies in the room on the psychiatrist's couch, her eyes closed, motionless._

_            The doctor clears his throat.  "Cordelia?" he says.  For a moment there is silence, and then Lorne laughs nervously._

_            "Guess she's not feeling too talk-y, huh?" Lorne says.  He puts his hands on his hips in a very effeminate fashion and looks around the room.  "You know, Doc," Lorne says.  "There's no reason you can't spruce this room up a bit.  A few flowers, some textured wallpaper, and *badda bing* you have yourself a spiff-i-fied little office."_

_            The doctor looks thoughtfully at Lorne and then at Cordelia.  "Lorne," the doctor says, "when did you first know you were gay?"_

_            Lorne waves his hands in front of the doctor very gracefully.  "Don't be silly," he says, sticking out his chest and putting his hands on his hips.  "I'm not gay."  After a moment, Lorne stares down at the bright blue suit he is wearing._

_            "Cordelia," the doctor says.  "Do you have something you want to say to Lorne?"_

_            Cordy, still lying on the couch, says nothing.  She hasn't said a word or so much as opened her eyes for months. _

_            Her silence speaks volumes._

_            "Did you feel you were accepted by your family as you were as a child?" the doctor asks Lorne._

_            Lorne takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and wipes the corners of his eyes.  "Can we not talk about this now?" he says.  "Makes me blue."  Lorne suddenly breaks into song.  "It's not easy being blue, when you're green," he sings._

_            The doctor stares at Lorne.  "Do you often find that you use music to divert attention away from your emotional needs?" he asks._

_            Lorne is silent._

_            Cordelia lies there and says nothing._

_            Suddenly, Angel bursts into the room, holding a lollipop and skipping around happily.  In his other hand he has a translucent white blanket.  Giggling fiendishly, he drapes it over Cordelia._

_            "Angel," the doctor says patiently.  "I asked you to stop doing that."_

_            "I'm not Angel," Angel replies.  "I'm Pansy today.  Have you seen my Barbie?"_

END TAPE.

DIAGNOSIS: 

LORNE: Emotional connectivity and sexual identity issues.

Lorne seems to be using a façade of being in touch with everyone's emotions around him in order to suppress his own emotions, and hide the truth of his sexuality from those he professes to love.  He also uses music as a false norepenephrine agonist in order to cover his own pain.  Hypnosis might prove helpful in this case.

CORDELIA: Conversion Disorder.

Cordelia remains emotionless, motionless, and for all intensive purposes, in a vegetative state.  It is my opinion that she is suffering from a conversion disorder, in which her emotional issues manifest themselves as physical symptoms, and that this has escalated to a point in which she is physically incapable of a response to external stimuli.  ECT (electro-convulsive shock- therapy) may prove helpful, in combination with more group therapy sessions.

ANGEL: UPDATE

"Pansy" has become more extroverted and mischievous and seems to have some sort of fascination with Cordelia.

TBC… REVIEW!   


End file.
